Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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