We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
