Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
