If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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