The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
