CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
