god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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