he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
