so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
