she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize