I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
