he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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