You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
