bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
