i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
