You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
