I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
