hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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