i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Actions speak louder than pants.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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