I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
