Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
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If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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