apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
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