Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
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she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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