reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
