You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
