you guys were way drunker than both of me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
