How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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