omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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