when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
