Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
