6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just google imaged poop.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
