A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
