im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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