Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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