Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
