I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
