She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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