Sorry, I don't speak sober.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize