I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You may now shotgun with the bride
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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