walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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