shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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