Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
im holly from the hills drunk
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
