Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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