so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
