I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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