Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
