wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
