So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
