Don't you send me to vm
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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