Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
