Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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