apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize