so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
