I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
