Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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