why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
