guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
