I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
