I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
