My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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