There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
