I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
