new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize