And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
