Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sorry about my life...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
