That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she looked like the before picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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