I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
