just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
