So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
