i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
